DIRECTOR: David Twohy
CAST: Vin Diesel, Jordi Mollà, Matt Nable, Katee Sackhoff, Dave Bautista, Bokeem Woodbine, Raoul Trijillo, Karl Urban
RUNNING TIME: 118 mins
CERTIFICATE: 15
BASICALLY…: Left for dead on a deserted planet, escaped criminal Riddick (Diesel) comes across a group of bounty hunters desperate to capture him…
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NOW FOR THE REVIEW…
There’s a reason why the Pitch Black films have such a cult following to them, and his name is in the title of this third film. Vin Diesel’s Riddick is a heavily-flawed anti-hero, but one that everyone seems to get behind because he’s so cool. So, it should come as no surprise that Riddick is a gripping, intense and carefully constructed character study which is just as interesting as it is small and quiet… for the first act. After then, it becomes something much, MUCH worse.
David Twohy, the director of all Riddick feature films so far, has wisely made this a much smaller movie after the high-budgeted second movie, 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick, failed to find much of an audience and thus flopped at the box office. However, he has also made it a lazier, uninspired movie filled with clichéd stock characters we are expected to also care about but ultimately never do. In fact, Riddick actually disappears for a good chunk of the second act just so we can get a peek at Death’s buffet get to know these characters more, but it’s more of a reason to hate these obnoxious stereotypes. Jordi Mollà in particular, as Santana, is particularly hateful but paves the way for unintentional hilarity with his over-the-top Spanish accent and acting abilities. For instance, when he watches a man die in a hidden bear-trap (don’t ask, it’s quicker that way), he makes a reaction noise that sounds like “whuh-pa!” To better demonstrate, here’s Chandler Bing:
Yeah, THAT kind of noise. And delivered pretty much identically, too. It’s so over the top, you can’t help but snigger quietly to yourself.
Another issue that’s bound to be raised all over the internet is the film’s misogynistic portrayals of women. The first of only two female characters is hinted to be a captured rape victim, and only exists for Santana to shoot and kill her as well as give a hiding Riddick some reason to go against this crew of dogs. We don’t even know her name or any of her backstory, she’s just gone with the pull of a trigger. The other, a commanding officer played by a blank Katee Sackhoff, is introduced as an apparent lesbian with a tough attitude, presumably to cash in on the “strong women” element that much better movies can pull off. However, by the time the movie is over she has been subject to a pointless topless shower scene, sexually harassed by Santana and even Riddick – he comments on her make-up being the same colour as her nipples, for no real reason – and apparently lured back into heterosexuality by Riddick (one of his closing lines is a request to “keep her warm for me”, a big hint if nothing else). The film is so misguided in its attempts to show women in a favourable light that it actually dares to suggest that Vin Diesel – oh, sorry, RIDDICK – is so cool and awesome that he can even make a lesbian horny for him. And you thought Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker was a massive ego trip.
It doesn’t help that Diesel, despite the interesting character of Riddick, isn’t that compelling of an actor, in fact he’s a little bland here. A scene at the end of the second act where Riddick witnesses the murder of his adopted space alien dog – it’s just as silly as it sounds, they even gave it cartoony puppy dog eyes! – his facial expression is more mildly annoyed than truly angry and sad. It was his only companion for the film’s first, and genuinely gripping, act, and he’s just like “huh, that sucks”. What an absolutely charming waste.
The visual effects aren’t that good and look very much like a cartoon, probably a result of a low-budget; the few action scenes aren’t gripping and almost always come out of nowhere – Dave Bautista suddenly decides to fight Riddick, again for no real reason – which makes no sense; and all in all it’s a very dull and self-indulgent entry into an aspiring sci-fi film series. “Self-in-dull-gent” should be the right phrase to make up for this.
SO, TO SUM UP…
Far too interested in its own mythos to provide decent story, dialogue and characters for its audience, Riddick is a bore to any newcomers while also alienating its fan base by rehashing the plot to Pitch Black with nothing new to add to its already “perfect” set-up.
